Wildlife and Poopy Diapers.

I'm reading Summer House with Swimming Pool by Herman Koch and just like The Dinner, it has me spellbound. Loving the realism, dirty, gritty, honesty of the characters. People are strange and Koch gets that. Not done yet, but looking forward to reviewing it.

In addition to reading, it's been quite an eventful last day or so. Frantic gathering of all the things to head to my boss' house for a group get together last night, after a very long day for Chef. We stayed late, so late, in fact, I was too tired to remember I totally needed to buy diapers because we were OUT.

12 hour Pampers are the shit.

Cut to this morning, and realizing all I have is one swimmy. And I gotta go get something from the corner store ASAP, because my kid looks like he has a water balloon hanging off his butt.

• Shitty Mom Trick #134 - Lining a swimmy with pads works just long enough for you to shower, your kid to drink a bottle and then decide to poop right before you head out the door to get real diapers.

My morning. Oh, and I had to drag the porta crib in from outside of the front door, because Chef got too freaked out by birds sitting on the railing, looking at him and not leaving no matter how loud he was. So he kicked the folded crib close to the door and ran away.

Wanna scare my husband? Rig plastic birds to dive bomb his head. "THEY FLY!" he told me. I knew that.

But now I'm kind of convinced all the wildlife around our home is rabid or crazy or just fucking with us, because a small squirrel sat in our maple when I was bringing in the crib, chittering angrily at me and totally not responding to "GO AWAY, SQUIRREL!". Ran out to grab the crib as he got closer and closer to me and then all of a sudden launched off the branch into a yew bush below.

This is why I don't leave the house too often.