1. No one else is gonna pull you aside in a public place, whisper in your ear and say: "honey.. you've got a bit of a camel toe thing going on. Those are low ride shorts. Stop pulling them up."
2. Foot rubs when
they fuck up. Or for your birthday. Or anniversary. Or because you whine about
it long enough.
3. You don't get in messy
legal trouble if you tell them, "If I don't leave the room (or store/or playground/or
Chuck E. Cheese), right now, I'm going to kill this kid. You've gotta deal with this." and just --
walk away.
4. Life has becoming
a series of small compromises and bargaining, little arrangements; which develop into very useful skills in professional
settings.
(According to my husband, I'm a certified 'User-er'-
meaning I never actually do anything myself, but have everyone do things for me in exchange for favors or tasks that I
have other people perform. I like to think I'm just really good at
'networking'.)
For example: I will clean up all vomit (child, dog, drunk adult or otherwise) because husband will vomit if he sees vomit. In return, I get to watch him do manual labor like rebuild an entire retaining wall with a beer in my hand while critiquing his layout and complaining about how I really just wanted to spend the afternoon relaxing, not building a retaining wall.
For example: I will clean up all vomit (child, dog, drunk adult or otherwise) because husband will vomit if he sees vomit. In return, I get to watch him do manual labor like rebuild an entire retaining wall with a beer in my hand while critiquing his layout and complaining about how I really just wanted to spend the afternoon relaxing, not building a retaining wall.
5. There's really
nothing left to be awkward about with each other. This is awesome, because not only can you
fart whenever you feel like it, your combined comfort level makes everyone else
uncomfortable, which is really amusing. At least to us.
6. You have a
lifelong ally and champion.
- one who will call you out on your bullshit
-one who will make sure you keep on keeping on
- one who will pick you up when you falter
- one who will grieve with you
-one who will celebrate success with you
... and in all other ways support your dreams and ambitions
as YOUR dreams and ambitions-- knowing that, if we, as individuals, are happy
and fulfilled, we, as a couple, will have a happy and fulfilling marriage and
life together.
Marriage fucking rocks.
I whine about getting the foot rubs. :)
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