Work. And Work.

This morning, someone in one of my 'Chef Wives' group posted this, and it's pretty spot on, as far as I can tell being a bystander/cheerleader for my own Chef.  It's hard to explain to anyone outside of our circle of other chef and chef spouse friends, this weird family life we have developed.  Just because it's different, doesn't mean the love and connection isn't there.

So- here's my response to some commonly asked questions from family/friends about dealing with the whole Chef Wife thing.


"Wow, you do everything at home, huh?"-Kinda. Maybe. Sure, but hey. Whatever. The husband doesn't purposely not do shit at home. He's been doing shit all day, on his feet, for anywhere between 8 to 18 hours. I understand that all my husband wants to do is shower and play a video game some evenings. I get that, and it's fine. We manage. It may look one-sided, but it's really not.

If the roof shingles need to be replaced, if drywall needs to be installed, if a tree needs to be taken down.. I'm not getting my ass on a ladder. I could, but why should I when he'll do it?

And yes, on his days off, he's been known to do a load of laundry, dishes, and even *gasp* take care of the childrens!

"Why don't they just get another job?"
-Why don't YOU just get another job? Oh, because you like your 9-5? You enjoy the type of work you do? You are good at it? You went to school for it? It's your CAREER?

Oh, yeah.

Well, my husband may not have the 9-5, but he enjoys the hell outta what he does, he's amazing at it, and, yes, he did go to school to have this career. It's a career, it's his choice, his passion and his livelihood. Not everyone wants a job just for the money, folks.

"Aren't you lonely all the time?"
-Lonely? I have two kids, I am NEVER alone. I would love to be actually alone sometime! (As I type this, my 8 month old is in my lap, blowing spit bubbles all over my arm and watching himself on the webcam in sparkle vision to distract him from smacking the keyboard.)

And, honestly, I like being by myself. I read. I write. I have projects and I work too, by the way.  I work at home, yes, but it's not selling shit on Etsy (no offense if that's your thing..).  It's a job, requiring time and meetings and with deadlines. A job. Keeps me pretty busy.

Plus, my social circle is not limited to just my husband, sheesh.

"It's like you are a single mom."
-Guess what? I know some single moms, and I can tell you that it's a helluva lot harder for them than it is for me. Sure, I have to attend all the school conferences, pack lunches, go to play dates, whatever. But- I have someone else who can pick up the kids if there is a real emergency, someone else who can get up and give the baby a bottle at 3 AM if I'm sick. I have a partner, someone there when things get tough.

So don't give me that sort of credit. I'm not Superwoman. Heap that praise on this women who REALLY are single moms and handling their business and raising amazing children.

I'm sure there's more questions/comments I could respond to, but I gotta get back to being lonely, a single mother, and my pity party.

Ta.